we all compare our successes and failures to others.
I believe it is human nature.
To some point being competitive is good, but then there is that fine line that you cross and then it starts to affect you in a very negative way.
Thinking you’re not good enough.
Beating yourself up for not achieving what others are achieving.
I have this problem. I fight with this urge and I try to control it everyday.
I am intimidated by others success even though I have some of my own. I don’t think is that I want what they have. I just want it all I suppose.
Ha, we all know that is not possible.
But, regardless of me knowing the truth, I still crave it.
I have to remind myself that we are all different. We all take different paths with every decision we make.
I’m not you, you are not me. We are not the same, therefore our outcomes are different.
You can believe that this is purely done by the actions one makes, or you can believe there is a higher being that has put you on this earth for a specific path and He knows what that path is and why things happen.
To be honest, I don’t know what to think or what to believe.
I do believe I have problem and that it is affecting me immensely.
I must overcome it before it consumes me.
I guess that’s just another part of life.
Just have to get passed it, somehow….
As with everyone, my year was filled with what we referred to as ups and downs.
I like to think of it as physics; actually I just came up with this and thought it was quiet clever.
In physics we learned that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For example, if you are pushing into a wall, according to physics, that wall is pushing into you with an equal force.
So you could say that our lives are filled with actions and reactions. It makes me think of Karma in some ways. What comes around goes around.
So here is my list of actions and reactions for the 2013 year. In this context let us pretend that actions are the positives and reactions are the negatives.
I got a cat (Sometimes I feel like this was a bad idea and therefore it should go into the reaction list)
I broke up with my highly incorrect boyfriend
I studied abroad for the first time (I fell in love with Belize)
I got my first tattoo (I was quiet terrified and didn’t understand why anyone would go through that again. I will probably get my second one this summer)
I was asked to be a godmother (I accepted)
I applied for graduation
I got my first interview at a professional school
I had my first snowball fight
I visited New York for the first time and spent New Years there (I can’t wait to go back)
A cyst was found in my ovary (keeping it under control and doing biyearly check ups)
A really close family friend passed away
A family member passed away
I got denied by a professional school for the first time
My savings account went down by more than half
As I look at this, and think about what to put. I see how my positives seem to be a lot more than my negatives. This might be true, but the negatives were just, well……really bad negatives.
I couldn’t help myself. This is just too funny and cute.
He looks around afterwards like……no one saw that…..
what represents a person exactly?
The way they act? What their job is? What they aspire to become? Their religion? Their culture? Where they live?
What defines someone is a combination of all these things and so much more.
What I want to become once I get done with studies is not the whole representation of who I am. You cannot define me just by this fact.
Ask me about my travels. Ask about the last book I read. Ask about how my pets are doing. Ask about the last movie I watched or perhaps what I want to watch.
Don’t ask me repeatedly about the one aspect of my life as if it was all I did, all I thought about. It is not.
There is so much more about me that people are not interested about, and probably don’t care about, because of what my specific “career” goals are. That is all they focus on.
Why is this? What is it with the constant reminder about such a small part of my life? It is important, off course it is. But it shouldn’t be and it is not the only attribute of my personality.
Is it to find out if I’m failing or not? If I am achieving my goals and the high expectations for my future?
I want so much more out of my life than just a career.
I want to live my life, really experience it, enjoy it, meet people, learn all that I can learn in the small amount of time that I get on this planet and treasure all of it.